noon's looms
string loose taut bones,
and set fire to the stones
in the street's roofless rooms.
noon's looms
spin nuclear & worn,
and blare their bloated horns
over clear, lazy fumes―
trees are opening the palms of their hands,
with their lines of fate
borne low with the waiting leaves' weight,
& drawn on the noon-air's sand.
birds are screaming and surprise themselves
with their leaps & caresses & fights;
their wings are still much too bright,
and the winds are collapsing shelves.
men in the road are all clear as glass,
worn through & see-through, with wine in their lungs.
their bloated arms are rusting guns
and the dreams that they dream are gas.
noon's looms
tidy up their strings & their lamps,
and the routes on their clerical, spherical maps
curve off... tomorrow to a fierce, dull bloom.















Comments
worn through & see-through, with wine in their lungs."
now, that's an image.
wasn't too hot on the bright wings line, it seems a colourless petunia in a much more interesting onion patch.
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thanks Sal.
maybe I've just seen too many poems employ "bright" lately.
&Np.
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unknown command error: sleep
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We are such stuff as dreams are made on, rounded with a little sleep - The Tempest
*Rhyme-and-Reason ftw
I agree with Sal about the wings line. It just doesnt seem to hang the others.
I also didnt care for with their lines of fate. It felt like of fate was just in there for the sake of rhyme.
The rest was lulling and vivid.
~Michael
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~M
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but yes, it's me. (:
Has Alex been around at all?
~M
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no he hasn't. he's also all but ditched a project we've been working on since 2007.
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