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fire, or water by ~root-kite:iconroot-kite:





were this blurred, we'd be submerged,
stuck under the waves
with warping colours & corals falling away
from a certain blue surface, where white animals are climbing.
    hot & cold climb the same ladder into the eye
    and we see everything sharper:

today there are sky-flags, halfway tattered.
browns & sea-thinned greens, then reds & great flames
are traditional
but the starving stag, steaming in the cracked courtyard
says blue is autumn's secret favourite, the colour of bruise & ozone & iris.

a leaf can fall like a cracked mast, or a dead bird meant for the ground
where the plummet loves death's rest; or simply a painted sail
that dispels the break of landlocked bone
& breaks the windy hierarchy of leaves ― a mess of fire, or water.

but this wading one-hand-clap falls like a berry
too ripe to maintain the grip
of its slim stalk limb,
    here it cannot echo
    or be poisonous.
the hole in the flank of a hare is invisible from a distance,
where a magpie thrusts its utensils in to taste something drowned,
somehow hot from newly plugged blood in veins long as roads―

somehow cold.
the trees, lit fiery & freezing, gape empty in the dark-blue night like fish.
©2008-2009 ~root-kite
:iconroot-kite:

Author's Comments

I've found a salamander but he's invisible.

this is newer

Daily Deviation

Given 2009-02-27

The images in fire, or water by ~root-kite are well worth deciphering in order to gain a new perspective of autumn. Read it several times, slowly. (Featured by ^SparrowSong)

Comments


love 2 2 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 1 1 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconaaaaaaaahhhh:
The repetition of "a leaf" is displeasing with so many other great re-phrasings within.
Also, 'veins long as roads' could get a touch-up to better connect with the intangible fragment 'somehow cold.' Images are crisp but need less crunch.

--
Two guys are driving to work when one asks the other if he talks to his wife after sex.
"Yes," replies the guy. "If I can find the phone."
:iconabcat:
I found the whiteness of the animals distracting, and the mechanical terms in verses three and four seemed to move the piece away from being organic and smelly for no discernable reason. Other than those three words I'm a big fan of those two verses, mind. 'Firepainting mess' is wonderful.

I like the trees/fish analogy too.
:iconroot-kite:
they're distracting animals alright; clouds.

mech terms is a bad habit, will do something about that. thanks Martin
:iconroot-kite:
true on each count. thanks for your eye Jimothy
:iconabcat:
Duh! I thought they were white corals on a harbour wall coloured blue by the water or something.

I am a little rusty still. Yea.
:iconsalshep:
-- The alliteration in the steaming stag line is pretty darned loud.
-- "for expiration's flavour" felt tacked on.
-- 'great' before fires .. iunno. Adjective-thick.
-- I sought the comma in the hand-clap line. One can read it several ways. How cleverish.

I very much enjoyed this. It has flavour.

--
unknown command error: sleep
:iconroot-kite:
very applicable points, I agree on each count.
& thank you
:iconabcat:
I like the steaming stag by the way.
:iconroot-kite:
thanks.
major edit

Details

September 30, 2008
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